


Every Little Flaw

by Coffeebookboy



Series: Reed900 [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Depressed Gavin Reed, Depression, Drinking to Cope, Emotional Baggage, Heavy Angst, i was listening to The Wires by The Neighbourhood, i wrote this in ten minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 12:10:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15930161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeebookboy/pseuds/Coffeebookboy
Summary: Gavin is drinking and thinking too much.“I won’t kill myself. That would be admitting failure. I’m not a fucking quitter.”





	Every Little Flaw

Politics… Politics… Politics…

 

It was all anyone talked about anymore. How politics involved androids… corporations… conspiracies. The world was falling apart and all everyone cared about was politics. Gavin remembered being seventeen, fresh out of juvie and finding out Trump was elected President of the United States. Funny how people hadn’t changed in nearly thirty years.

 

He swirled the yellowy clear liquor in his glass numbly, watching the way the moonlight reflected off of it. Tequila, straight. He liked the way it burned and made him want to vomit a little bit. He liked the way it made his head spin. It reminded him of good parties and bad decisions. At least he had a fucking job. A good one too. A career. He knew most of the kids he’d hung out with in high school had ended up in prison. He’d put away a few of them himself. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. Life was a funny thing that way. Life was a cold, unforgiving bitch. Everyone was victims of their own decisions and circumstance. It was easy to feel helpless and empty. 

 

He’d often fall into apathy, week long depressions that found him at home alone, unable to drag himself to work. He usually used up all his paid vacation days in this way. He hadn’t had a proper vacation in years and it was his own damn fault, fucking pathetic. Not that he would accept the time off in the first place. Self care? Bullshit. The majority of his days he spent wallowing in self pity and anger. Work was the only way to escape it. He was good at his job and he cared about it. The only thing that mattered was his work. He could bury himself in a case and work himself to an empty husk without fail. That was a point of pride for him. It was exactly why he worked solo. Anyone else would slow him down.

 

God, he really wanted to fucking kill himself. He’d thought about it. Not that he wanted to die. No, he was terrified of death. He just really wanted the world to go away. For everything to stop. It was all too fucking much. He knew all his flaws, knew why he hated himself, knew why everyone else hated him even more. He’d even embraced them. He wasn’t willing to change. He was bitter and emotionally unavailable, acceptant of these things.

 

“Don’t worry…” He said aloud to himself, as if anyone was listening at all. As if someone might have worried. “I won’t kill myself. That would be admitting failure. I’m not a fucking quitter.”

 

No matter how miserable he got. He’d always be more stubborn. 

 

He had people from his past to prove wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> wow i'm.... actually writing. 
> 
> i'm just not updating the fics i should be. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
